It's ok it's not you.

Sometimes I have to remind myself. It's not me, it's not meant to hurt me. Miss A often finds comfort in others and will happily brush me off to run to someone else. Today at school she didn't want to go. She was in the car park refusing to put her shoes on. She didn't want to carry her bag. She didn't want to move. She asked me if we could go to my friends house. No, we have to go to school. Yep Mum is the baddy. So when we finally get into Mr J's class there is my friend,  she grabs my hand and drags me over and asks to go to her house! No quiet mouse here. She still gets a no buts it's OK because it's not Mummy saying no.

So now with smiles she walks into kindy? WTF? Her day gets even better as my friends hubby is there with her best friend Max. So now she sucks up to them and does a puzzle. I am left looking at her back and she sits down and ignores me.
It's funny  to see how well behaved she is and how happy. Today it was a kiss and goodbye. See you Mum. Yesterday was a strangled 15  min hug then she was pulled off me by her aide.
I have to remind myself it's not that others are better are making her happy. It's not that she feels safer with them.
I am her rock, her circle of security and her centre. With me she can be herself. With others she is well behaved, tries to impress and goes with the flow. So when we she sees my friends and other adults she switches into the little good girl persona. She can forget I'm there. I'm unimportant.
When it gets too much and she is too tired I am the one she turns too. I am the only one who can stop a meltdown or calm her in the middle of one. Not even Daddy is enough for her. I am the one who kisses it better, who puts her to bed in the middle of the night. I understand what she needs when she is non verbal.

So it's OK it's not me.....