Most of the time I feel the same as any Mum. Stressed and tired and running around non stop. The last week has been a little different though. It has been high stress with Miss A and meltdowns galore! We had I think 4 in a week? How bad is that, I can't even be sure if there was more? 2 days in a row at school she had a meltdown before we got into the class. I was left to deal with that alone. After our school meeting on Wednesday though I walked away feeling more stressed. I felt that they were still struggling to understand A and how she is different. I very rarely look at her disability or see her as being different but when you have a meeting discussing just that it's hard. You have to look at your child and what they need in order to help them but you also identify in them what they are missing. For the rest of the week I was in a funk. I had to deal with more upset behaviours and meltdowns in public and it felt different. I started to think how I wished we didn't have to go through this. That Miss A didn't have this extra stress and anxiety to carry around at her age. I felt isolated and under pressure.
It was a week that never seemed to end....
I guess most of the time I'm so focused on helping the girls and seeing the positives that when we have a week like that it really opens my eyes. It reminds me that we are dealing with different issues and we can't always be positive and happy. As much as I see her as my little girl she is facing challenges most kids her age will never see.....and that makes me sad.
Today was her first day back after a long weekend and it started again. A meltdown at the school door, me walking away with a bloodied fat lip and trying to hide my crying eyes from the other parents.
It feels like dejavu.
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