Where to?

Where to? That is what I kept asking myself? We didn't have a lot of therapy support at this stage and being a mild sufferer A often got pushed to the back of waiting lists. We were then referred off to The Centre for Cerebral Palsy who luckily accepted A and took over her therapy. Most of the services were given at home so that made life easier.
J had started kindy 2 full days a week and now I was pregnant with out third child. We never wanted to rush into having another baby.....we wanted to make sure A was settled and well looked after.
This pregnancy was very different to my first two. I was very sick with morning sickness which seemed to go on all day. I could barely keep water down some days. Just before Christmas I was hospitalised for dehydration and stayed in for a week. Barely a month later I was back in hospital with kidney issues. This time it was a shorter stay at least. It is so much harder being sick with 2 other kids relying on you. Things did seem to settle down towards the end but the sickness did last the whole time. Dealing with kindy drop off,A at home and therapy appointments was full on. I did not like being sick in front of the kids at all! By 36 weeks I was tiny and did not look 9 months pregnant but I ended up going into labour on Saturday night. I was told to wait it out at home unless the contractions became more regular. By the next morning they still hadn't gone away so I had to go in for monitoring. A day in hospital and pain relief and everything had eased up. A week later and contractions had started again. We went back into hospital on the Monday and my obstetrician was on call, thankfully. She decided to help things along and I was given oxytocin and my waters were broken. I was so sure this third pregnancy would be my easy one..... After only a few hours I was telling everyone it was time to push but they wanted me to wait a bit longer. Baby was posterior and they wanted her fully turned before I tried pushing. The pain in my back was excruciating and so different to what I was used to, at this stage I was asking for an epidural. Thankfully the anaesthetist was the same I had with my other two pregnancies, who knew things progressed quickly so he made sure I had tops ups that were effective immediately. Not long after he left I was asking to my OB said she was heading home for a break and would be 5 mins away if needed. Ten minutes later the nurses were calling her back as I was ready to go! The actual pushing part was very quick and my gorgeous girl almost came flying into the world. She was tiny! The tiniest baby I had by far. She was taken off to be weighed and checked and it was only at this point that I realised something was happening...... For the first time I asked what was going on. My doctor was great she calmed me and reassured me I was fine just a bit more bleeding than normal. I was given medication to stop it and anti nausea medication. I had more cuddle with bubs who I couldn't stop staring at because she was so small. My son was 3995grams and my daughter 3550grams and here was little miss at 2650grams and only 44cm long. After feeding her I got some time to lay down and that's when I realised I didn't feel well. I was shaking uncontrollably and felt like I was going to be sick. I asked my husband to come over and whispered that I was going to faint. He was like no you're fine I then repeated myself. I was going to faint-then I I'd. First time in my life I fainted and it was in the delivery room. The nurse was the only one in the room with me and she pushed the emergency button and of course everyone came running. The OB came back and the anaesthetist was called out of surgery to check on me. It seemed I was in shock from the blood loss and medication. While I thought I was fine I suffered a post partum hemorrhage of at least 500ml and I was throwing up a lot. The vomiting had given me more stomach cramps and sore muscles which isn't what you need after giving birth. It was a few hours later that I was finally settled and moved to the ward. I spent the first night in hospital reliving that horrible afternoon. Baby was settled and slept very well which gave me a break but also left my mind to wander......